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Captain's Log. 3rd of Felsite.
So I did some of my Mayoring duties today. I met with the Baron.
For some reason, his nickname is 'Dirty', and he wanted to know why his accommodations weren't ready yet.
I told him that since he had appeared without notice, that we were rather suddenly surprised by his presence, and that these things take time to set up properly.
He advised me that they had dispatched a messenger to advise of this, and that I should have known.
I told him that a single messenger in this antler blighted wasteland was little more than a tasty snack, and had never made it.
Somehow he believed this was my fault and left in a huff.
Immediately after his departure, entered the soaper we had just received.
"We need bathes!" he shouted.
Then he saw me.
A look of horror unlike any I have seen crossed his face, it looked like he was about to cry.
"Bathes?" I asked, trying to snap him out of it.
"B..b.. bathes...?" he stammered, unable to take his eyes off me. I felt very noticeable at that moment, I don't mind telling you.
In the end, I managed to get it out of him. He even had a schematic for me. Impressive stuff. I told him as much before he fled. I heard him screaming down the hall.