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Captain's Log. 18th of Granite.
The Elven traders arrived today, which at least was something newsworthy.
I sent BurnedToast to talk to them because, quite frankly, I'd rather shoot myself in the foot with a crossbow than deal with Elves today.
He reported a fairly typical Elven meeting, though he did note they were interested in finding out more about our new Baron.
BurnedToast was able to tell them that mercifully we had not yet received our new Baron, and didn't expect one any time soon.
They told him that that wasn't what they'd heard, but left it cryptically at that.
How infuriating.
Hopefully these nobles don't have any obscene perversions, or memberships with any cultist organisations.
Events of the 10th of Slate.
Kodor and his human wife, Melica, had been travelling for some time to reach Nist Akath.
He had heard tales of its glory, of how the Dwarves there were the most dangerous in the world.
He wondered how they would react to their new Baron, and his human wife.
Dwarves taking human brides was uncommon in the civilised areas. Down here in the arse end of the world it was nearly unheard of.
No doubt it would set tongues wagging, but as always they would endure it.
When Kodor finally caught view of the fortress of Nist Akath. It was as incredible as he had heard. More incredible, even.
At his side, his wife Melica gasped. "That's amazing..."
Kodor grinned. The fortress was enormous, and white as snow. It did not, however, blend into the snow.
"It certainly dominates the landscape."
"Kodor, I didn't think Dwarves built outside."
Kodor nodded. "We usually don't. This fortress is a special case."
They wandered closer, noticing the frozen goblin corpses with disdain. Bones and frozen flesh littered the landscape more commonly than the rocks.
"This is disgusting. Why don't they clean this up?" Kodor wondered aloud.
"There's so many of them. How many goblins do you think died here?"
Kodor shrugged. "Who can say? There's certainly no shortage of bodies though. There's lots of stories drifting around about the local goblin populations being worn down to a shadow of their former selves, just from trying to take this fortress."
Melica was disbelieving. "The stories can't all be true, though. It would be impossible for anyone, even a dwarf, to beat a Hydra to death with their mere hands."
"Story says he was naked, too." mumbled Kodor, recalling the detail from the story they'd heard from the merchants.
"Kodor! That's crude!"
"I was only saying." he protested.
Melica sniffed. "Regardless, you don't need to go repeating what you heard."
"Hold, we have company." Kodor said, raising his hand.
Three dwarves were approaching them. They were all soldiers.
"We've been expecting you." said the leader. It was unmistakably Adalore, the legendary hero of Nist Akath.
Kodor raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I didn't think we sent anyone ahead."
"Elves said something about you coming, apparently." Adalore replied.
He turned his head to look at his men. "Scorpios, go tell the Captain he's expecting company from our new Baron. Hop to it!"
The dwarf who had to be Scorpios nodded curtly, and began to run the long journey back to the fortress.
He looked back at Kodor. "Forgive me Baron, I have patrolling to do. I would suggest taking your time, the Captain'll feel rushed otherwise."
"I'll take that under advisement, Commander."
Adalore shook his head. "Not Commander. We don't do that here. I hope you make out better than your predecessors, Baron."
With that, the hammerdwarf bowed, and led his remaining soldier away.
Kodor watched him go. "They don't do that here? What the hell kind of place is this?"
A short time later, Scorpios arrived in the barracks. He figured the Captain would probably be there. The Captain was always training these days, like he was expecting something terrible.
Of course, Scorpios figured, if he'd been thrown naked into a pit with an angry hydra, as the Captain had, he, too, would probably spend a lot of time trying to make sure it never happened again.
As he entered the room, he was pleased to see that he had guessed correctly. The Captain and Nosey were currently training together, and quite violently from the looks of things.
The way those two fought made Scorpios hesitant to interrupt them, lest he take a stray hit. Instead he chose to fidget nearby, waiting for them to take a break.
When they finally stopped, Scorpios approached. "Sir, I have important news."
Ironblood took a swig from his flask, and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Fire away, lad."
"The new Baron has arrived. He's on his way to meet with you."
Ironblood sighed. A new Baron. "It was inevitable I suppose. How's he look?"
Scorpios thought about it for a moment. "From what I saw, not insane at all. But that was also the case with Baron Lorn at first."
Ironblood grinned. "Not insane, huh? That would be a first. I'd best get cleaned up a bit to meet him, then."
"One other thing, his wife was a human woman."
Ironblood nearly choked on his drink. "A human woman!? We're dealing with another pervert, then. I'll only do my boots for this one."
As he spoke, he noticed the goblin Buzong Bootcleans loitering nearby, and remembered the goblin had a knack for cleaning things. Other dwarves, including his beloved Bomrek, had spoken marvellously of his cleaning skills.
"GOBLIN!" he shouted, getting his attention.
"DON'T KILL ME!" screamed Buzong in terror. shrinking against the wall.
Ironblood looked confused for a moment. "I don't want to kill you. I want you to polish my boots."
"Polish boots of mighty Captain!?" squeeled Buzong. "It would be honour!"
The goblin looked to be on the verge of tears, all over being given some work to do.
It was an uncomfortable moment, and Ironblood coughed to break the silence. "Well, they're just boots. You can do it in my office. I'm meeting an important new addition to the fort. At least, he thinks he's important."
Buzong studied the boots thoughtfully. "Boots are filthy. Could do with good clean."
Ironblood growled at the idea of actual cleaning being done. "No cleaning! Just a polish, understand! It's the muck that holds 'em together at this point! Clean 'em proper and you'll be out on your arse in the cold!"
"On second thoughts, polish fine! Muck shines good!" Buzong replied, changing his mind.
Ironblood grinned. "We're going to get along just fine."